what teens are saying
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ATTITUDES ABOUT SEX HAVE CHANGED

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AVOIDING FUTURE PROBLEMS BY WAITING

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COMMITTED TO WAITING

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FRIENDS WHO HAVE SEX

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HURTING FUTURE LOVED ONES

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NOT WORTH THE RISK!

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SECONDARY VIRGINITY

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TRUE LOVE

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VIRGINITY

IN THIS SECTION


INTRODUCTION

The following comments are from young people who have participated in the TEEN CHOICES programs which are currently being taught in a number of public schools throughout central California. These programs are abstinence-based in compliance with California laws. The instructors are convinced that if young people are given the facts concerning the risks of premarital sex, have all of their questions answered, are strongly encouraged to refrain from any kind of sexual relationship prior to marriage, and are given the "tools" they need to say no, most of them will. The comments in this section clearly indicate what researchers have discovered in recent years: The attititudes of teens toward sex is changing, and more and more of them are choosing not to engage in sexual relationships before marriage.

ATTITUDES ABOUT SEX HAVE CHANGED

"My attitude about sex has changed because I have already lost my virginity, and I always thought that after you have sex you couldn't change your mind and say 'no' anymore. I've done stupid things and should have been monogamous, but now I'll wait until I find my companion for life because having sex is so serious." Rene

"My attitude was always to wait until I am married to have sex, but now I know not to make any exceptions. Sex is not a game, and it is not harmful if you just wait! It won't kill you to wait, but it might if you don't!" Patricia

"I was going to have sex with my girlfriend on her birthday, but now that you came, I am just going to wait until I get married and wait for the right person." Victor

"I want to wait because there are no risks, and I can't get pregnant if I'm a virgin. Plus, my parents won't be disappointed in me." Melissa

"I never really thought about waiting until I was married, but all this information that you taught us has changed my attitude!" Arthur

"I was planning on having sex before getting married, but not now! I know it is not worth it." Harvey

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AVOIDING FUTURE PROBLEMS BY WAITING

"If I have sex before marriage I may get a disease, my relationship with my parents would be hurt, and all the plans I have for the future might never come true. That is why I choose to wait!" Maria

"It's dumb to waste your education, your dreams, and maybe your life on a mistake like not waiting!" Dena

"Having sex before marriage will take the 'magic' away from your honeymoon!" Jacob

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COMMITTED TO WAITING

"You should wait no matter what, and if you want to have sex with someone, you should get married!" Leslie

"I'm going to wait until I'm married to have sex. I made a commitment to myself and to God that I would wait until the proper time - marriage!" Irene

"If you wait until marriage to have sex you will not regret it when you do get married." Estela

"I've chosen to wait until marriage to have sex. Many people say, "You can't do that!" But I say, "Oh, yes I can. Just watch me!" Francis

"I'm convinced that waiting to have sex until you are married is best. You will be happier and will have no regrets." Rosemary

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FRIENDS WHO HAVE SEX

"I thought just because my friends do it, I should do it But now I feel I don't have to be following my friends. I choose to wait until marriage to have sex. I just wish my friends would too." Lawrence

"I see my friends just using it for pleasure and not for love and that scares me! I am going to wait! There's no reason why I should give something up that will be worth more to me at the right time - marriage." Teresa

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HURTING FUTURE LOVED ONES

"If you have sex before you are married, you might ruin your loved one's life in the future." David

"I know that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had sex before marriage and got AIDS and then gave it to my husband or my children." Nancy

"I don't want to have sex before I get married because I don't want to die young, and I would not want to give a disease to the person I love or to my child." Eddie

"I will wait until I am married. There's no reason to risk hurting someone I love - my future wife." Marcus

"I know I will wait to have sex, because I don't want to hurt myself or my wife later on." Charlie

"It is far better to choose not to have sex before marriage so you do not hurt the one you love when you are married." Gabriel

"I am going to wait to have sex after I am married, so I'll be a virgin and won't give my wife an STD or HIV." Thomas

"I want to wait so I won't put my future family in jeopardy. I couldn't stand giving my kids and husband AIDS. They deserve to live." Laura

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NOT WORTH THE RISK!

"It is not worth the risk you take to have one night of pleasure and nine months of pain and maybe all your life of pain." Yesenia

"It's not worth losing your life for one brief moment of pleasure!" Darlene

"Choosing abstinence is the best choice if you don't want to wreck your life!" Julie

"I think I am far better off waiting than risking my life for only a short, enjoyable time and night." Yvette

"I am going to wait until marriage, because I don't want to worry about STDs." Sergio

"Having sex before marriage is bad because there are many consequences of doing it. Many of those consequences will affect you for the rest of your life, and it just isn't worth it!" Eric

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SECONDARY VIRGINITY

"If you make a bad mistake by having sex as a teenager, it's okay. Life goes on. However, you must choose to stop and wait - secondary virginity." Brandon

"I had sex once, and since I've been in this class, I learned that there is nothing more important than your life, so I will choose secondary virginity." Tiffany

TRUE LOVE

"I choose to wait because I don't want to make stupid decisions and I want to experience it with my true love - my future husband." Kristin

"Not everyone is having sex. It is okay to say ‘no'. If a person does not respect your decision to wait, they don't really love you. They are just thinking of themselves." Erica

"I am not going to have sex before I get married, because I want the experience to be a good one not a bad one, and to have sex with someone I truly love and who loves me back." Michael

"It is better to wait because it's important for sex to be special - something you only share with one person, your husband or wife." Angelica

"I am going to wait until I am married to have sexual intercourse so I can enjoy my first sexual experience with my wife more." Marcos

"I'll wait until I'm married to have sex so it will be special." Dee

"I choose to wait until marriage that way I could save myself for my husband." Carmen

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VIRGINITY

"My virginity is something I want to keep and share with my husband." Darlene

"I am going to wait until I am married to have sex, because I don't want to worry about STDs. My friends keep making fun of me because I am a virgin. But at least when I get married, I won't have any diseases!" Sergio

"When I realized condoms are not 100% safe and every 10 seconds a teenager gets infected with an STD, I decided to remain a virgin until my wedding night." Vanessa

"Now I plan to wait until marriage because I've realized that being a virgin is something smart and safe! There are NO regrets that way!" Sonia

"I learned that there are over 20 STDs you can get if you decide to have sex which, in my view, is very stupid! My virginity is very important to me, and I intend to keep it that way!" Maricela

"Virginity is one of the most important gifts we have." Natalie

"Virginity should be one of the most important factors when you are in a relationship." Patricia

"Hold onto your virginity. It will keep you from a pregnancy or an STD so you can do whatever you want in life." Pat

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